I won't come back alive

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About Me

Riz // Aus // Music nerd // Professional fuckwit

Blogs I follow:

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  1. desireexelyda:

    lexiconophilia:

    all 46 excuses on my friends wall, 

    1. i was just really, really early for tomorrow

    2. we can’t all be usain bolt

    3. in this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like “late”

    4. i had pe first period do you blame me

    5. i really, really didn’t want to sing

    6. my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates

    7. you can’t tell me how to live my life

    8. #YOLO

    9. my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic

    10. there was a freak yachting accident

    11. i am a fucking retard

    12. this is just for my wall

    13. do you even read these

    14. “it does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop

    15. i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction

    16. my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight

    17. sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win

    18. traffic jammy jammy jam

    19. how can i go to school when alex turner

    20. my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her

    21. i was sticking it to the man

    22. i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity 

    23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued

    24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset

    25. my meth lab caught fire

    26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be

    27. i was sad

    28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely

    29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag”

    30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth

    31. 2 kool 4 scool

    32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen

    33. i tried

    34. i’m sorry i’m late

          it’s not my fault

          my auntie was killed

          and i joined a cult

    35. a haiku about lateness:

    late late late late late

    late late late late late late late

     late late late late late

    36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking

    37. i was fashionably late

    38. i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg

    39. i did not choose the late life, the late life chose me

    40. do

    41. you

    42. even

    43. read

    44. these

    45. i was fighting al qaeda

    46. traffic

    EPSOM! NZ Rep.

    (Source: artvevo)

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